[求助]新人求看开头求指导

Recondize

2021-10-08T11:50:48+00:00

事情是这样的...之前回国隔离，出于兴趣就开写了，后来有急事断更了一会，现在没啥生死攸关就捡回来更新了。
现在综合来看也考虑重发/换区等等，正好有机会修改内容，所以很希望有大佬指点。
话说回来新人写原创怎么得到第一批读者呢[s:ac:愁]
总之求看，我这缺经验是肯定的，最近学了点网文技巧，但自己写的不容易看出问题嘛[s:ac:中枪]

编辑：下面放了章节，可以直接看

[img]https://img.nga.178.com/attachments/mon_202110/10/ekQj8i-fvmkK2pT1kShs-12h.jpg.medium.jpg[/img]

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编辑了zsbd

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第一章折叠 ...

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[img]https://img.nga.178.com/attachments/mon_202110/10/ekQ4xs0-ck1vK10T1kShs-12h.jpg.medium.jpg[/img]

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第二章折叠 ...

[img]https://img.nga.178.com/attachments/mon_202110/10/ekQ7i87-l9ilZeT1kShs-12h.jpg.medium.jpg[/img]
[img]https://img.nga.178.com/attachments/mon_202110/10/ekQ4xs0-hzlsZfT1kShs-12h.jpg.medium.jpg[/img]
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[img]https://img.nga.178.com/attachments/mon_202110/10/ekQ7i87-1ocwZbT1kShs-12h.jpg.medium.jpg[/img]

第三章折叠 ...

[img]https://img.nga.178.com/attachments/mon_202110/10/ekQmqyo-en6tZdT1kShs-12h.jpg.medium.jpg[/img]
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[img]https://img.nga.178.com/attachments/mon_202110/10/ekQ7i87-3e70K1wT1kShs-12h.jpg.medium.jpg[/img]

Recondize

这[s:ac:冷]单机程度[s:ac:冷]

Recondize

再顶一次溜了，绷不住

acvrey

建议改个书名[img]http://img.nga.178.com/attachments/mon_201209/14/-47218_5052bc4cc6331.png[/img]

Recondize

[quote][pid=556980356,28891499,1]Reply[/pid] Post by [uid=60459838]我叫Ash，Rush的sh[/uid] (2021-10-10 22:03):

建议改个书名[img]http://img.nga.178.com/attachments/mon_201209/14/-47218_5052bc4cc6331.png[/img][/quote]大概确实[s:ac:冷]
谢谢回复

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